Just two nights ago, I returned home from a casual barbecue dinner at my boyfriend’s army mate’s condominium. It was a laid-back, all-fun, no-stress get-together with 20 of his other guy friends from camp.
Food aside, we got down to hours of chit-chat, gossip, laughter, and little sneaky doses of Bailey’s & Vodka in between.
Boys being boys, and surrounded by an entire group of them at that, we found ourselves caught in one particular conversation topic – masturbation.
You must be surprised to hear me say this, but I’ve kept this in me for too long. I figured there’s no harm getting this off my chest. What’s the worse that could happen? You laughing a me? Talking about me behind my back? Well, be my guest.
So, where was I? Yes.
For many of us young people, the question of whether masturbation is right or wrong is very much objective. Ask around and you’ll most probably get 9 out of 10 saying “it’s natural” & “every guy does it”.
Survey the generations before ours, as well as the various religious and cultural groups. Suddenly, the same exact question takes on a subjective approach.
Being part of a crowd that sees nothing wrong with doing it, I often find myself in conflict with my personal beliefs and values. Surely, it’s not going to help if I pick an argument or debate every time the topic arises. I’m no fortune-teller, but I’m pretty sure doing so will label me something along the lines of a social misfit or a party pooper – thanks, but no thanks.
You see… I personally am against it a hundred percent. Don’t get me wrong. I’m against the act, not the person engaging in it. We live in a screwed up world. I even believe murderers shouldn’t take all the blame for murders. How’s that for a taste of the real me? ;)
Here’s why it goes against my morals:
1) It’s detrimental to relationships because guys who watch too much porn will not feel satisfied with their current girlfriends. The girls shown in porn sites are models and unless you have a model girlfriend yourself, there’s no way she can compare. As a result, the sense of dissatisfaction will always linger and it’s truly unhealthy for any relationship.
2) As a Christian (though I’ve back-slid quite a bit), I still try my best to keep to God’s word. The bible states in Matthew 5:28 that…
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”
3) I personally feel like it’s a form of cheating. I know of many girls who say it’s okay for their boyfriends to do it, but as a girl, I know how it can feel like to just think of your boyfriend feeling a sense of intimacy with another girl, even if she’s not physically present. I believe most girls only say it doesn’t bother them because they want to avoid being called over-sensitive or unreasonable, especially since many guys do it. Or perhaps they’re afraid that it may lead to a quarrel or even a breakup. Otherwise, in all seriousness, I should think that deep down, girls would rather their boyfriends not do it at all.
I understand the controversy behind this subject. You may have agreed or disagreed with the things I’ve said. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. So, let me know what you think. Just leave a comment by clicking the comment link at the top of this post.
For those who know me personally, you must still be in complete disbelief that I actually wrote about this issue. :) Well, believe it or not, but I have in fact written about several topics on sex, relationships and the psychology behind men and women. Even had my own website that was focussed on topics like that. It’s dead now, by the way. Maybe I’ll revive it again some other day… when i have the time. Haha.