I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been in deep contemplation on whether I should save up for a teenie weenie bit of nip, tuck and facial reconstruction. Ok, hold up! Whoa, that sounded scary, even to me. Perhaps I should have said something fancier and more glamorous like ‘cosmetic surgery’ or ‘plastic surgery’. Totally didn’t mean to scare anyone, not myself either. Facial reconstruction just sounds wrong on so many levels. Cosmetic or plastic surgery it shall be. Okay, I think I’ll just use the term ‘cosmetic/plastic surgery’ from now onwards.
You see, I’ve been extremely self-conscious of my appearance for most part of my life, so I guess it’s unsurprising that I would even consider fixing my facial flaws and going under the knife. I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but here it is: my mum has done a some plastic surgery on her eyes and nose, like 10 years ago, and she actually took me in for a consultation with her plastic surgeon, Dr. Martin Huang. Picture this: I was this 11 year-old girl sitting in his room, listening to him tell me that my eyes are too sunken in and not symmetrical, my eyes don’t have defined double eyelids, that my nose can do with a higher bridge, blah blah blah. I repeat, I was E.L.E.V.E.N. I had no clue what plastic/cosmetic surgery was back then, but all I got out of the 1 hour was how ugly I looked.
Even though I wasn’t entirely affected by his words – I didn’t go home, cry and think I was the most hideous looking person in the world – I do remember the many occasions I stared at myself in the mirror, with the nastiest and the most self-loathing thoughts running through my head.
Well, what could I do? I was young, impressionable, vulnerable, and like almost everyone else, I believed everything a ‘professional’ told me.
More than 10 years have passed and I have lived long enough with my worst enemy – myself. I do have occasional bouts of confidence in how I dress and how I look, but that’s barely 10% of the time. I put up a brave front in the presence of others ‘cos after all, who’d like to hang out with someone who’s not even going to look up at you when you talk to her, right? I’m good at the whole charade thing, but if you stare at me a little too long, I start wondering if you’re pulling a Dr. Martin Huang.
Recently, in the past 1-2 years, I noticed a surge in the media coverage of celebrity plastic surgeries. Of course, it triggers the need to do something about how I look. When it seems like everyone else is doing it, even the not-so-rich-and-famous, I can’t help but to see it as a possibility for me.
It is cray-cray expensive in Singapore! Won’t go into details on how and why, but my mum spent over S$20,000 to do her eyes and nose.
I obviously can’t afford that. *I am open to sponsorships from generous plastic surgeons, people, strangers, whoever out there ;)
Famous bloggers in Singapore had theirs sponsored by top plastic surgeons, so good for them. Hollywood celebrities are freakin’ rich enough to buy themselves a whole new body from head to toe, let alone plastic surgery, so whoopedeedoo for them too. Just look at Megan Fox. Who doesn’t want to look like her? My boyfriend seriously thinks she’s unattractive, by the way. Shocking but true. I think she’s drop dead gorgeous in every way. She was already so pretty before the plastic surgery, and to me, she totally didn’t need to change anything. But after the plastic surgery, hello hot mama.
I am so tempted right now, you have absolutely no idea. I can imagine my mum and dad saying a firm ‘no’ to me; my boyfriend is going to laugh his head off first, then realize I’m serious, and then tell me I already look pretty enough for him. The standard stuff.
I’m going to make it a resolution for 2013, even though I’ve never once seen a resolution from start to finish. I’ll try hard at this one ‘cos I know how badly I want it. It’s about keeping up with the trend and you know, looking good for my boyfriend. Don’t wanna lose out to competition either. I’ll see it as upgrading myself. It just makes me feel better like that. Haha.
Small or big, I’ll do something by the end of this year.