1 Corinthians 7

1 Corinthians 7

New Living Translation (NLT)

Instruction on Marriage

7 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.[a] But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord.[b] A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man[c]has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her.

13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband[d] brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife[e] is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you[f] to live in peace.)16 Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? 

17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.18 For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. 19 For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.

20 Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. 21 Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. 22 And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. 23 God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.[g] 24 Each of you, dear brothers and sisters,[h] should remain as you were when God first called you.

25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you.26 Because of the present crisis,[i] I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.

29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions.31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

36 But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. 37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. 38 So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord.[j] 40 But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.

Footnotes:

  1. 7:1 Or to live a celibate life; Greek reads It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
  2. 7:10 See Matt 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18.
  3. 7:12 Greek a brother.
  4. 7:14 Greek the brother.
  5. 7:15a Greek the brother or sister.
  6. 7:15b Some manuscripts read us.
  7. 7:23 Greek don’t become slaves of people.
  8. 7:24 Greek brothers; also in 7:29.
  9. 7:26 Or the pressures of life.
  10. 7:39 Greek but only in the Lord.

Picking Myself Up

I’m writing this as an update to what’s been going on lately. I don’t know how many of you follow me on Twitter (@vanessatyl), but if you do, I guess you must be curious about the very emotional tweets I’ve been posting. I haven’t had the time to blog and I feel like I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this particular issue, hence the tweeting. Sure, I can talk to friends and family, but all I expect is the usual “it’s okay”, “don’t worry too much”, etc. It’s such a personal thing; I don’t think anyone can actually understand enough the emotional turmoil I’ve been through the past 5 days.

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Honestly, I don’t feel like blogging right now. In fact, I haven’t felt like doing anything lately. Some might ask if it’s depression, some will just say it’s a passing phase. I really can’t put a finger to the floods of emotions that have been sweeping me away from reality. I’ve had 5 emotional breakdowns in the past 24 hours. Obviously, holding back and trying to appear strong for the 4 days prior has proven to be futile.

In my previous post, I mentioned that my boyfriend was diagnosed with diabetes. I was already shaken by the news then, even though I was still relatively clueless about the complications, treatments, symptoms, etc. that come with it. So, I guess you can imagine how it much has affected me now that I’ve grazed through hundreds of online articles on diabetes. I’m not going to deny the intensity of fear and panic welled up in me . Throbbing headaches, poor appetite, insomnia, feeling dazed, complete loss of interest in life, and even thoughts of suicide. I don’t know how long this is going to last.

My boyfriend’s maternal grandmother died of diabetes, his mum has diabetes, his sister was diagnosed with diabetes 5 years ago, and now it’s his turn. I knew about his family’s history, but the both of us never expected that he would fall victim to this disease as well.

We don’t know when the diabetes began, but now we’re thinking if it could have been sometime back (about a year ago) when he started losing a lot of weight. He did make some minor lifestyle and diet changes then, so the weight loss wasn’t something unexpected. He slowly reverted to his usual eating habits not too long after, but his weight still dropped. We noticed it, but didn’t think too much about it. While we were staying in US, we were eating a lot more of the unhealthy stuff. I gained weight by the end of the two months and surprisingly, he didn’t gain a pound. Again, we didn’t give a second thought.

Now that I look back, he had all the signs. My oblivion is to blame.

Now that I look back, he had all the signs. My oblivion is to blame.

All that while, the thought of diabetes never crossed our mind. His mum and sister had diabetes and we left it as that – we were so certain he was cleared.

Unfortunately, not. This is how it started:

On our second night back in Singapore, he showed me a wound he had on his leg. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but he did mention that it could have been an insect bite or perhaps the result of kicking into his bathtub. Days later, in the midst of the Chinese New Year period, he showed me his leg again. This time, the entire foot had swelled up and turned redish blue-black, and it was oozing pus and blood. He seemed so light-hearted about it, but I was concerned, very concerned. It looked really bad. I knew that all shops and clinics are usually closed during Chinese New Year, but I insisted that he had to find one. He went to visit a general practioner at Healthway the next day with his parents. No diagnosis was given, just antibiotics. I bought into his idea that it could have been an insect bite of sorts

It got better over the next week with the meds, but the day his meds had finished, the wound got worse again. His foot was swelling up and changing color like before.

He didn’t seem to worried about it, and again, I was the one insisting he have it checked. I was at his place that night, so we told his parents to take a look. His mum almost instantly got out of bed and tested his blood sugar level. Apparantly, she was all too familiar with this – his sister was in this same exact situation before she got diagnosed as diabetic. His blood sugar level was 32. A normal person averages at 4 to 5. That’s how high his reading was.

He wanted to keep it from me initially, but I saw all the panic on his mum’s face and I kind of knew something was wrong. True enough, he told me that very night that he could be diabetic.

The next day, he went to the doctor to check his leg. The doctor immediately referred him to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. It was so severe, he had to be warded that evening to bring his blood sugar level to normal. I don’t know what the doctor had told him, but resources online did say that foot sores are very common in diabetics. Worse still, high sugar levels coupled with foot sores usually result in gangrene and leg amputations.

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Source: WebMD

I’m trying so hard to put myself together as I type all this.

He was supposed to only be warded for one night till they bring his blood sugar level down, figure out if he’s type 1 or 2 diabetic and determine the amount of insulin he needs. After the first night, he was told he had to stay one more day; after the second, he was told he had to stay one more; after the third, it was one more night again. I got increasingly worried with everything I read online, and the hospital stays weren’t helping to ease my worries.

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Source: WebMD

He just got discharged from the hospital this morning. By God’s grace, his foot is fine and still healing. He has been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, which means he has to inject himself with the short-acting insulin at every meal and the long-acting insulin once every 24 hours. There isn’t a cure for diabetes. I can only hope that someone out there is about to find that cure. As a Christian, there is still hope in healing, but it’s going to take great faith.

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

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Source: WebMD

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Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

Source: WebMD

I’m still only 23 and it’s been a daily struggle for me. I’m very aware of my emotional instability and problems with coping. I know I need to be strong for him, for me, for our future. God knows how hard this is for me and I’m trying my best even if it’s not good enough. I’m so tired, sometimes I just wish I’ll wake up the next day only to realize I’ve been having a horrible nightmare all along. It’s going to take some time to pick myself up again, but I’ll try. If someone like Nick Vujicic can remain so positive, I should too. For now, I’ll have to take things one step at a time.